This is my understanding of the outcome of my appointment with Dr Cooper last night. He wants to check to see if there are any donors on the registry. If there are donors, then we are to wait until the cancer comes back to act. If there are few to no donors, we consider doing an autologus transplant. The reason we aren’t considering an autologus transplant right off is the idea that if any cancer was to survive the process and come back after the transplant, it would be harder to treat since it has already survived super high dose chemotherapy used in the transplant. The question I have there is: if the cancer was to survive the super high dose chemotherapy, it was a strong stubborn cancer to begin with and I consider it already difficult to treat, transplant or not.
     I don’t think I agree yet with Dr. Cooper’s decision. Not only does this plan bump up the uncertainty of an end to all this but I don’t’ think I want someone else’s cells. I really don’t want graph vs host that can last a lifetime. I don’t want to have someone to blame for any future misery. Blame is a birthplace of hate and I don’t want to bring those emotions into my life, especially if there are other options. I would rather fail with my own cells and have to go thru more treatment than to be burdened with life long ailments caused by graph vs host.. i guess..