Five months ago I met a man who I knew would be a “keeper”. We spent the last five months getting to know each other and sharing a great love. I was blessed with this time not only for the love I received but the love I was able to give. Our relationship ended this weekend and it’s left me full of thought (naturally).

I am so grateful I have age and time to help me through times like these. My heart is indeed crushed and the pain of lost love is set in place but at the same time I feel like I’ve developed the tools to cope and make it through without too much pain. I’m amazed by this. I really did/do love Johnny without restriction. To know this and comprehend the love by itself, it’s magical. He dumped me. I remember younger days when I had my heart broken and I would spend so much energy wishing he felt the same pain, that if he could feel my pain, it’d be fair. I remember getting angry because I knew I couldn’t make him hurt like I did. I don’t wish Johnny any pain. In fact, the opposite is true. I know it is tough for him and he didn’t intend to break my heart. He is healing right now too. Even though I don’t completely understand what happened and why we’re not together, I still wish him peace. This is definitely a reason I like being a grown up. I mean, it sucks that I can’t really fit too well into a decent under table fort or that when I do jumping jax, gravity is so much meaner to me now but I am actually living with peaceful intent. All my actions (ok, most of them) are driven from love. What a great place to live.