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A couple of months ago my family was hit with the news that my Aunty Carol had lung cancer. We learned slowly that not only was it stage 4 but it had metastasized to her brain. The brain tumors needed to be radiated before chemo for the lung tumors could start. By the time it was time for chemo, she just wasn’t strong enough. That was about three weeks ago. Since then she slowly (well it seemed slowly but really it was so fast) declined. A week ago Monday, the decision to start hospice care was made and that Friday she was home. Over the past week I've watched the life slowly leave from her. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I don't think I could have comprehended just how bad it was. Lung cancer is a terrible way to go. Being a cancer survivor it might be hard for you to believe but I never really understood just how evil cancer is. Tonight, at 7:30, my Aunt Carol passed away peacefully at home. She was surrounded by her family at all times at the end and there is never a shortage of love for her. I love her deeply and have some of the fondest memories of her. I so wish she wasn’t gone but at the same time, she was so sick her passing almost seemed like a blessing. Honestly, I haven’t really absorbed the news yet. I can’t believe she’s really gone.
Today, as I stopped for a drink and reading material on my way to her house I wanted so bad to be able to buy something to give her, something to bring her joy. I sat in my car and had the obvious realization that there is NOTHING I could get her. She couldn’t move, talk or as of today, open her eyes. I realized all I could bring her is my love as I have been doing as much as I could every day. I know my love and support has helped and I know I’ll continue to bring it. This realization kinda hit home for me. All you really need is love. That’s the only thing you take with you when you die. Wow.